Beyond Just Answers ....

Wondering about her start and her journey... 25 years old Suhani is compled to ask questions to her mother , and her mother gives her answers which are beyond just answers..

 Suhani - Maa how did you feel when you first held me in your arms ..??
 Maa - Have you ever experienced moment of purity ... Suhani when i held you , your eyes to your   tiny fingers to your smile all were divine .. i had experienced purity that very moment ..

Suhani suddenly cuddled her mom with unconditional shine in her eyes and goes on ...

Suhani - When i gave you sleepless nights , when i just didnt sleep and cried or when i made you sit at 3 am to play with me .. did you at any moment loose your patience ??
Maa - Suhani have you ever experienced some one being so integral in your life .... i would not say i did not get impatient , but when some one is so important in your life the pain , sleepless nights etc doesnt last long ..because as soon as i saw your smile , you made me win , you made me believe that i cant ever afford not to see you smile ... that happens even in relations which are beyond blood ... when some one gives u sleepless nights or may be pain ...and you still long to see them smiling .. thats when you know how integal they are..

Suhani looked up in the sky staring the birds flying , lost in her thought ...unaware that her mother looked right through her heart and thoughts.
With her voice dipping somewhere she uttered...

Suhani - Maa did you ever wonder what you have today is what you always wanted ..did your dream meet reality ??
Her mother too looked up and taking a deep breath holded Suhani's hand and said
Maa - Beta what are dreams ...Dreams are where you want to live each day and moment , and trust me no dream is perfect , nor is reality .. whenever you witness something which is even little close to your dream cling to it and then put in efforts to make it real .There is always this instinct or gut you will encounter about things lasting forever... some dreams will leave you midway and if you have faith a better dream would follow ..but never forget any of your dreams , they did accompany you for a while .. and when we attach our dreams with somebody else they meet relaity more easily ..like may be your dream and my dream about your life if aligned will shine more.

Suddenly there was a chill in the wind , birds stopped chirpping , trees started wavering and Suhani felt the drop of rain on her face and she closed her eyes ...
Somewhere her mother knew Suhani had reached that phase where she is seek purity and love in every aspect of her life, and suddenly a rush of fear crossed her wondering life is brutual in some aspect how will she cope up ..

Suhani - Why is that at times our patience is tested .. and when do we know we have to give up ?
Maa- There cannot be any situtation or relationship which isnt tested or where your patience is at leisure ..but there is always this moment you know at what cost your patience is being tested .. if it is worth then fight till you get things in order but yes never be selfish ..your wish is also attached to others in your life .. like there are times you badly want something and your dad brutaly says no at that momet ask your heart and brain if they are in sync go ahead and fight with your dad and get it.. and prove him wrong , but if they arent in sync then it isnt worth because you too arent convinced and its not about giving up at times its about not being selfish ...

Suhani had this perplex look , her eyes blinked curiously and she stared her hands like they showed her some direction .

Maa- Suhani you have met your dream lately right ?

Suhani had this sudden shiver and could feel goosebumps , like her mother just entered secret corner of her heart..

Suhani - I am still figuring it out , but it almost feel unreal to feel this way suddenly ..how do i know if this is my dream maa... ?

Suhani eyes were shinning with the tinge of water as crystal which could roll and meet her cheeks any second.

Maa - Before i get into details , i want you to understand that this journey of making some one your dream isnt bed of flowers . Suhani are you seeking purity in love ?

A small tear from corner of her left eye finally rolled down .. she just knew she was seeking purity in love.

Suhani - Maa i dont even know if i am suppose to make this my dream , all i know is that it feels close to my dream , and its weird how this dream is stuck in my heart and brain that it leaves imprint each second , there are moments when i want to stop and just run away or just break but something holds me back ...something within me asks me not to give up .. Maa may be i am the only one chasing this dream.. may be its just me standing there !!! ..but why ??    

Maa- Suhani you know what holds you or make you not give up is your innocence towards love .. and suddenly i am scared because pricks in heart is inevitable it is bound to happen in everyone's life and your heart is going through the same ..But you know the way you are and how i have known you , you will find your way beautifully because your love is pure..but love at times make you fall hard..breaks everything  .. and still stays within you forever and you cant let it go , but Suhani when others witness such kinda love ... even if they arent with you or they do not want you somewhere within their heart they know they experienced love which is pure and flawless ...and today i want to tell you i always knew your love would be unconditional ..

By now Suhani knew her mom was aware what her heart was going through.. but Suhani wanted to fly ..fly high in love ...she wanted to shout ..shout loud in love .. but she was just being silent ...She was being silent in love ..

Maa- Suhani at times it is so important to step back to retrospect your journey .. but the conviction you showed me today about meeting your dream ..i feel it would be certainly very difficult to step back ..so have faith .. You know there is this knot you tie with some one even if you are silent... and other just feels the connect even if he is silent .. and unconditional love ,one which is beyond boundaries are tested maximum , dont fail in your test . Me and your dad had arrange marriage ..we too saw ups and downs ..but i was holding his hand even when he didnt realize or cared .. i was doing my bit selflessly because i had conviction in my dream being him .. But Suhani the day your dream walks up to you and tells you that he isnt part of your dream ...walk away calmly ..wishing the best for him ...and with a smile just let your dream fly away..

Suhani's Mom looks somewhere far away and weeps within her heart and slowly utters .

Maa- I know you wont forget him ever ..

Suddenly both of them can hear restless repetative honk of the car... Suhani knew her dad was home ...and with grumbling grumpy face she says ..

Suhani - Maaa ( she distessed how her dad impatiently honked every day )

Maa - Suhani i will always walk to that gate to open door for him with a smile .. even if i grow old ..

Suhani knew by now ...love is not always about winning ... it can be about letting it go too ...it can be meeting your dreams in your prayers ... and she smiled ...

Upasna ....